Camping: Metzler Park

When we made our reservations for Memorial Day Weekend we knew it was not going to be quiet.  We’ve done enough camping to know that any pay-sites are going to be crowded and loud on that particular weekend, so it was no surprise when we pulled in and saw every site filled with tents and cars.

Our site was large for the four of us, one of these eight person sites in the middle of a bunch of smaller ones.  Since it was only four of us we had plenty of space to set up and stretch our legs while staying clear of our neighbors.  The grounds are beautifully kept, the sites are clean, fire pits in good working condition, gravel roads are smooth. There was a port-a-potty next to our site and it was ripe by Sunday afternoon, but we couldn’t smell it at all from camp.  Overall, I’d say the staff here do great work.

Friday night was noisy, cars coming in, loud greetings and reunions.  The general hustle and bustle of air mattresses being filled and camps being setup.  We quietly set down our roots and made dinner.  Turned in a little early and crossed our fingers Saturday would be quieter.  Dear Gods, were we wrong.

My wife and I awoke multiple times Friday night to unreasonable noise.  I’m not talking about laughter and drunken debauchery, I mean car horns and blood curdling screams.  At one point, about 3:00 AM I seriously wondered if a serial killer was working their way around the camp and viciously murdering the parents of children under two.  I considered all the other options and determined that was the only reasonable explanation for the cacophony.

Saturday morning we sucked down our coffee, ate pancakes and bacon, cleaned dishes and went in search of the hikes advertised on the county website.  We wandered, let the kids burn off some energy at the playground.  I checked the bulletin boards for information about where to find the trail heads.  They were covered in county-wide maps with ambiguous markings.  I read the directions at the head of each and they indicated 20-30 mile drives from some address that is completely meaningless to me in a place without cell reception.  Odd, I can’t exactly define those as local trails, but OK.  Camp hosts are very busy and can’t be found, oh well, we aren’t in any dire need.  We’ll just walk down to the creek and let the kids and dogs splash in the water.

As could probably be expected the watering hole was not peaceful, several groups of people had setup picnics and beers and were loudly enjoying the water.  OK, we had fun, we’re not particularly social, but everyone picked their own stretch of the creek, and stuck to themselves.  When it started to get really crowded we left, headed back to camp and started working on dinner.

We did our s’mores and said goodnight to the kids.  My wife and I both secretly hoped that the first night was a fluke.  When both our children were little the first night camping was always the worst.  After they got adjusted things went well.  Being wrong was becoming a pattern for us, the child neglect returned in full-force Saturday night.  Perhaps these children are being raised by some nocturnal animals, and they were left unsupervised for the evening while the wolves went and gathered food?  I could imagine that would be a tough gig. For the wolves.

Sunday morning we stumbled through breakfast cereal and coffee, my wife discovered a camp map cached on her phone with much more information about the trails.  They’re actually here, in camp, not 30 miles up the road.  Would it kill them to stick a copy of this map up on the information board?  So we went for a hike.  They were short trails along wide paths, about a quarter of mile of natural beauty then the next thing we knew we’re walking along the backs of people’s campsites.  Huh, This isn’t nearly as isolated as it could be.  Oh well, we fed the kids some salmon-berries and returned to camp.  The kids spent every free moment at the campsite adjoining ours, playing with some like-aged children who were celebrating a birthday (opposite direction from the murder-orphans) and today was no exception.

My wife and I took advantage of the quiet camp to try to get a nap, she put in earplugs and I dozed off into a light nap.  We were awoken by the kids of the deaf parents singing and clanging pots together. You can't make this stuff up.  Well maybe I’m exaggerating, the clanging may have been a game of horseshoes fifty meters from our campsite.  The clanging just happened to be (mostly) in time with the shrill singing.  No, I’m certain they were banging rocks against the fire grate.

Sunday night was quieter, many campers headed home later in the evening, apparently intending to use the holiday as a recovery day.  Perhaps a third of the sites emptied out, people lingered long into the evening, eating dinner and chatting around their fires.  The cars, trucks, RVs, and their horns finally died off around 11:00PM.  Far later than I would have anticipated considering the gates are supposed to be locked at 10:00.  A casual stroll around the park revealed tents and bags being packed by my favorite neighbors.  We secretly rejoiced and stayed up that last night, nursed our final beer and burned the last of our wood.  At about the same time we decided to turn in for the night, the crying started again.  There went the entire weekend.

Rant: Corolla Rental House

I'm leaving out the address we stayed at for obvious privacy reasons and to protect the guilty

Once upon a time this property may have been "252 yards from the beach" (330 according to Google Maps).  From our conversations with neighbors who had rented their houses in previous years, according to the neighbors this hasn't been true for more than a year, the fences were up when they were here the same week last year, and the maintenance guy we met said the fence was put up about 8 months ago.  Maybe he meant 18 months.  This is where our problem started.  We rented this property with the understanding we would have a relatively short walk to the beach and arrived to find a 6 foot tall fence along the backyard with dozens of "No Trespassing: Violators will be prosecuted" signs along the back.  These signs very clearly block the path to the beach.  The only alternative routes take you North or South a few hundred yards and the routes add up to more than 900 yard walks.  The beach accesses all have "No loading or unloading" signs in front of them which means that for folks who rented here expecting a short walk (or drive) to the beach for small children and elderly family we were in for a rude surprise.  It seems that if their goal was to make it difficult to get to the beach, they succeeded.  We spent the first several days we were here trying to get the rental property to do something about it.  They advertised a 252 yard walk, we'd settle for 350.  The maintenance guy offered to put a gate in the fence but said he'd need to contact the owner of the adjoining property first, whom I think he made his opinion quite clear with the signs threatening prosecution. When the false advertising lawyers got involved, the rental property stalled on giving us any firm resolution.  Halfway through we gave up on getting them to give us any resolution while we were here.  I'm sure there will be further follow up, but in the meantime we tried to make the best of our vacation.

Which leads me to the generally poor status and disrepair of this property.  I mean, on the surface, this is a beautiful home, the layout is a bit strange and perhaps inefficient.  It's rare that you have to spend time exploring and drawing maps to find your way around, but it's a good looking house nonetheless, nicely furnished and very spacious.  We found the kitchen to be reasonably stocked with cookware (no waffle maker, but now I'm being picky).  By the end of the second day, however; we had a laundry list of broken fixtures and generally dangerous oversights.  We sat down in the basement and turned on the TV only to discover someone hard of hearing had been the last person to use it. Fine but it turns out the volume down button on the remote does nothing.  Covering our ears and approaching the television with our faces averted we managed to get the volume turned down to a survivable level.  It turns out two of the TVs didn't work at all, the equipment was improperly installed and configured.  Later that evening we pulled out the trundle bed in the basement and were stopped short.  The frame was so warped that the bed didn't even pull out properly.  I guess it could work if you like hammocks. That don't move. At all. A maintenance guy came by and spent the afternoon hammering on the thing and got it to pull out and hold the mattress in a mostly flat way, but it was still terribly uncomfortable.

Meanwhile elsewhere in the house, a few of us walked into one of the Queen bedrooms and turn on the light.  Or half the lights, as the other half of the bulbs were all dead, one of the end table lamps has a short in it and therefore wouldn't stay on unless you stand in front of it repeatedly shaking the end-table. Not how I want to spend my vacation.  I attempted to change one of the bulbs in the ceiling fan only to have the glass fall out of the fixture because the glue had apparently melted and ended up with a shock. By the third night the lights in the downstairs area had stopped turning on altogether. We're doomed to a life of darkness and eyestrain. And I wanted to do some reading!

There is a large shared bathroom between the bedroom with the two twin beds and the one with the bunk bed where the ventilation fan apparently doesn't work.  We see the fan, and several switches but nothing turns it on. Remind me to take my constitutionals somewhere else.

We were there in the middle of August and it was, as we expected, hot.  The house has Air Conditioning but it only seems to be capable of keeping the top floor cool.  This is fine during the day as it's where the majority of the food and socializing happens but at night we quickly realized something was wrong in the bedrooms.  Vents are open, we can feel a slight cool breeze, but with two people in these bedrooms were unable to keep them cool.  Our first night, with AC on our room got up to 90.  The master suite was 65.  I'm not an expert but something seems wrong here, maybe there's an obstruction in one of the ducts?

My grandfather who arranged this trip and generously reserved the house for everyone at no cost to us was livid at this point, he spent at least an hour a day on the phone with lawyers or the property managers. As a career politician he's learned to ask nicely in many different ways but he didn't seem to be making any headway. About halfway through our trip he settled down after one such phone call with a newspaper and a beer only to suddenly find himself on the floor. The chair he'd sat on had simply fallen apart, not broken but rapidly disassembled itself underneath him, flinging him backwards into the bay windows and then dropping him on the floor.

And these were just the highlights. Needless to say was not a happy customer and would not buy again.

GSM Droid Bionic

I originally posted this here: http://forum.xda-developers.com/showpost.php?p=42437715

First some venting: I went to Israel for business. Before I left I did some research and found out that Pelephone (the local CDMA carrier) should be able to provide me with a CDMA SIM. Upon arrival I found that while these SIM cards are available online they don't sell pay-as-you-go in stores. I returned to my hotel room with my tail between my legs and quite accidentally discovered this thread.

I was attempting to enable my Bionic to use a pay-as-you-go SIM from a local GSM carrier (Cellcom) from my hotel room, using nothing more than my Windows 7 laptop, the guest WiFi, and a borrowed thumb drive. At several points during this process I seriously considered jumping out of the window of my 17th floor hotel room. I soft bricked my phone at least twice and learned A LOT (and I didn't consider myself to be a novice before beginning this). But thanks to all of the notes here I did eventually SUCCEED! In the interest of sanity I'm putting together what I did and what worked for me. I'm hoping people can take this and begin adding information to it so we can have ONE unified place with the latest method (instead of forcing people to read 117 pages and have to filter through what worked with ICS and what no longer does in JB).

This is by no means a final tutorial or guaranteed set of directions. It is simply what worked for me in my specific situation. I've incorporated troubleshooting tips and directions from these 117 pages, and hopefully this can be expanded upon into a more comprehensive guide in the future.

READ THESE DIRECTIONS ALL THE WAY THROUGH BEFORE BEGINNING

My phone is hardware rev A

Getting Setup
Make sure you have the latest Motorola Drivers installed: http://developer.motorola.com/tools/usb_drivers/
Starting with a freshly imaged phone:
It's guaranteed you'll have to data wipe at some point during this. You might as well make sure you're running a clean build before you start.

• RSDLite: http://forum.xda-developers.com/show....php?t=2021891
• Images: http://sbf.droid-developers.org/cdma_targa/list.php

By the way if you get the error: "Failed flashing process. 5/24 oem fb_mode_set -> Phone returned FAIL" Try the following:

1. open the file : cdma_targa_9.8.2O-72_VZW-22_cfc
2. remove the lines:
   
   Code:

   <step operation="oem" var="fb_mode_set" />
   <step operation="oem" var="fb_mode_clear" />

3. Save
4. Restart RSDLite and flash again

Root Your JellyBean Bionic
EasyRoot didn't work for me on my hardware, I used a thumb drive to create an Ubuntu boot and did it "manually", if you have any Linux experience it shouldn't take very long. Here are links to both procedures:

• Root: http://forum.xda-developers.com/show....php?t=2246747
• EasyRoot: http://forum.xda-developers.com/show...php?p=40870178

RadioCOMM: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6725402/Radi....2_Install.msi

1. Boot Bionic, connect USB cable, set connection mode to anything other than "Mass Storage Device"
2. Make sure USB Debugging is DISABLED (when I had it enabled, RADIOCOMM was unable to find my phone)
3. Start RadioComm
4. select Main -> MA -> Common -> MDM 6x00 chipset base
5. select settings -> USB -> USB PST Driver
6. select the FTM Common1 tab
7. Try the buttons at top to read Version and MEID, if response is GREEN, you can proceed. If RED, there is likely a driver error that you need to resolve. (If drivers are correct, you should see moto usb networking listed under NETWORK Adapters in Windows Device Manager). Possible ways to fix driver issue…
   1. re-install Moto 5.4.0 drivers and reboot PC.
   2. reboot phone (remove/replace battery if possible).
   3. when connecting phone to PC, ensure its connected in PC MODE, not USB Mass Storage, Charge Only or other...
8. in the NVAccess drop down, select 1877
9. click read.
10. should show 07000000000000000.... change the first characters to... 8703E80400000200
11. click write
12. exit radiocomm
13. disconnect phone
14. power phone off, insert Non-VZW SIM, and power up.

Build.prop edits

1. Backup existing Build.prop
2. Update build.prop with the one CellZealot provided (Don't do the apk/odex renames yet) (http://db.tt/TdVtcfHH)
3. You can try using *#*#INFO#*#* and changing the value but this did not stick through reboots for me. It should however help you determine which value of ro.telephony.default_network is appropriate for you.
4. If you need to be able to switch between Verizon and GSM carriers, in build.prop (be sure to do this before a data wipe because modifying the default_network value may cause the crash loop)
   1. Change both appearances of the value:
      
      Code:

      ro.telephony.default_network=0

      To:
      
      Code:

      ro.telephony.default_network=10

   2. In order to get 4G/LTE data with Verizon you will also have to restore these values to the VZW values (note I set these when I returned to the states, I do not know if it affects your ability to use GSM):
      
      Code:

      telephony.lteOnCdmaDevice=1
      ro.mot.phonemode.vzw4gphone=1

5. Set chmod on build.prop to 644 (rw-r--r--)
6. Restart
7. This brought me to the "android.phone.com has stopped" crash loop, if you end up here do this:
   1. Boot into recovery and data/cache wipe
   2. On the first boot you will get this crash once, click OK then you will never see it again
   3. FYI: Every time you start your phone you will see "SIM Card from unrecognized source" error (if you're using the GSM SIM). This is expected right now, be patient!
   4. In other experiments I've noticed that sometimes it is possible to update the value without getting into the crash loop, but the value doesn't "stick". The build.prop file will say one thing while the *#*#INFO#*#* menu says something different. To fix this do a data/cache wipe.

APK/ODEX Renames
I haven't done this yet, the message doesn't bother me that much, and the risks of this change seem to outweigh the benefits. Doing this before a "Clear data" seems to prevent you from ever getting passed the "Please wait, this may take a few minutes" screen during an initial boot. Your only respite will become a complete re-image of the phone as this screen will never go away. I've reproduced this twice: Rename the files, do a factory reset, then wham, phone is completely unusable. After a complete re-image you MUST start from step 1! So keep this in mind if you ever need to factory reset your phone (without doing a complete flash) you will need to put these files back to their original state or you may end up needing to reflash your device but if you want:

1. If you did a data wipe above you will need to root again, as the data wipe will have unrooted you (see above)
2. Now rename the APK and ODEX files to get rid of the "SIM Card from unrecognized source" error. Files to rename are:
   • Stk.apk
   • Stk.odex
   • VzwPhoneService.apk
   • VzwPhoneService.odex

APN Updates
If you don't get data with your GSM SIM you may need to setup your carriers APN:

1. "System Settings" -> "More…" -> "Mobile networks"
   1. Verify "Data enabled" is checked
   2. Select "Access Point Names"
   3. Click menu key to get "New APN"
2. A Google search should do the trick for the appropriate values for your carrier. I simply searched for "Israel Cellcom APN" and this was the first result which contains everything you ever needed to know about Israel APNs. I'm sure similar sites exist for other carrier/country combinations:http://prepaidisraelisim.com/index.p...formation_id=7

Finally:

1. If you don't want root, now is a good time to unroot
2. Reboot your phone one more time for good measure
3. Enjoy GSM on your Bionic!

And now that I'm home, I drive to the AT&T store to buy a Galaxy S4 and ditch Verizon and Motorola and CDMA permanently. Some things cannot be unseen.

Bad Japanese Food

For Valentines Day Felicia and I decided all four of us were going to go out and get some sushi.  Nothing fancy or expensive, just some hole in the wall Japanese food.  She found a place via Google Maps that looked promising, it was near to our house, inexpensive and the reviews were very promising.  We didn't want to do conveyer belt, we wanted the legitimate sit down dine in sushi.  We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car excited for an evening of moderate to good food only to find that the restaurant Felicia had chosen had a counter with bright lit signs over the cashiers heads.  We opted out of the fast food experience and on a whim walked into the little Japanese restaurant three doors down.

My first impressions were good: nice atmosphere, the hostesses all looked the part and the food smelled decent.  My first warning should have been the fact that within five minutes of entering the restaurant we had a table and they had no high chairs available.  On Valentines day nobody has free tables and everyone has babysitters: therefore everyone has high chairs.  Ignoring this small issue eager to get on with my evening I went to the car to retrieve our car seat while the rest of my family got settled.  On my way back through the restaurant I'm assaulted by the rancid smell of burning plastic.  Again I ignore what I now realize must have been the universe warning me away…

After getting our seating arrangements sorted and the menus distributed we promptly began to analyze the menus.  The menu looked fairly complete, many Japanese restaurants in the United States serve Chinese dishes but all the Japanese food essentials looked to be there.  After careful consideration we ordered as follows:

Felicia: Assorted Tempura a la carte

Natalia: Children's Bento with Gyoza and Teriyaki Chicken

Me: Bento with "Ton Katsu", Assorted Tempura and Sashimi

Additionally we ordered a plate of Yellow-tail rolls and Spicy Tuna rolls

First up, Felicia and I receive our "Cucumber Salads".  The menu neglects to provide any further indication as to what this really is and I naively believed it was some Americanized name for sunomono.  I was wrong.  This plate was actually diced cucumbers slathered in soy sauce and sprinkled with sesame seeds.  Which bares only one ingredient in common with sunomono: Cucumber.  All surprises and kidding aside this dish was palatable and the only complaint I have is that this particular plate just doesn't make sense.  It's salty and watery with sesame seeds which are flavorless.  It doesn't seem to have any culinary or health value.

Next we received our miso soups.  This is where things started to take a turn for the worse.  Immediately I noticed the miso soup was "weak", I dismissed this believing maybe this was a low sodium variety (perhaps to compensate from the salt overload of the "Cucumber Salad"?).  Almost immediately, Felicia notifies me her miso soup contains no tofu and no seaweed.  Natalia reports she has one piece of tofu in hers and I realize I've only received two.  Great, three pieces of tofu for the entire table.  We quickly evened the tofu and the seaweed distribution around the table and got back to eating our soup.  Long story short the miso soup was lacking, watered down, and the tofu was tough and chewy and tasted as though it had been tossed into our bowls on the way to the table.  Completely free of any miso flavor.  Not off to a good start, I can make miso soup better than this in my sleep.

Next our sushi arrived.  I remark jokingly that I hope the wasabi isn't just horseradish that's been dyed green but am genuinely pleased when I note it's the real deal.  Not only is it the genuine article but it's got a great kick, the kind you feel at the tip of your spine and arcs through your skull and sears your sinus's clean.  All-in-all a good experience.  The sushi was decent as well although genuinely nothing to write home about, it wasn't chewy or ripe, and went down well.  I've had spicier spicy tuna but it was an honest attempt and acceptable.

Next our main courses arrived.  Where do I start?

I began with my tempura, these breaded delicacies have a tendency to get soft and soggy over time and are best enjoyed   sooner rather than later.  The tempura items themselves could  best be described as "thick", this isn't really a big deal, I'm spoiled and know it.  I prefer a light fluffy breading that practically crumbles in a heavy breeze and sponges up the sauce before it even comes into contact with the bowl.  This had a consistency comparable to a potato chip.  This is fine, the food just spends more time in the tempura sauce.  Which tasted like oranges.  Really?  Oranges!  I asked Felicia if she noticed this "citrus" flavor in her assorted tempura meal.  She considered a moment and said she did and shrugged.  But I couldn't seem to get past it.  This flavor was so out of place with tempura I couldn't help but fixate on it.  With every bite the tangy flavors of Florida got stronger and more pervasive.  Invading my tempura experience until I couldn't take it anymore.  I put down the tempura and moved on to the "Ton Katsu".

Now anyone out there who knows even a little about Japanese is probably choking on their own righteousness screaming at me that it's spelled "Tonkatsu".  I know.  I am spelling it this way because this is how the restaurant spelled it in the menu.  I suppose with any of the non-Anglo-Saxon alphabets spelling is sort of a fluid subject once they've been transliterated.  Maybe this is even an acceptable spelling, but it's not one I've ever seen.  And Google seems to believe it isn't correct either.  You do your best to spell it using the sounds in an alphabet that wasn't designed to write the word you're writing.

Anyways, back to the "Ton Katsu".  I picked up my first piece of breaded pork and dipped it into my katsu sauce and took my first bite.  That's odd, doesn't quite taste right…  Let me try that again I thought to myself.  At which point my piece of pork fell completely clear of the breading.  A problem which would repeat itself throughout the entire dish, every piece of pork needing to be consumed separately from it's breading.  Every bite grating at me, something is wrong, something doesn't quite taste right… It's the sauce, what is wrong with the sauce?  Then it dawned on me.  I know this flavor, and it's not katsu sauce.  It was A1 Steak sauce.  I am not kidding, let me say that again: it was A1 Steak sauce.  They had certainly sweetened it just a hair, but there it is, once it was identified the flavor was unmistakable.  Now this wasn't a particularly repulsive combination in all honesty but I will say it was quite offensive once I realized what was going on.  Did they really think they could serve me A1 Steak sauce with my "Ton Katsu" and I wouldn't notice?  Maybe this is the difference between "Tonkatsu" and "Ton Katsu": the latter is served with steak sauce, while the former is a Japanese dish?

I finished with my sashimi, like the sushi was unimpressive.  It was flavorless, chewy and the serving size was ridiculously small.  Other than that I can't think of anything else to say.  At this point in the meal I don't think I would have been surprised about anything.

On to Natalia's dish.  Partly through the meal Felicia and I noticed she's been neglecting her teriyaki chicken.  Now for anyone who has ever taken a child under 12 to a Japanese restaurant you know teriyaki chicken is "candy".  Put simply this savory sweet dish is the best part of the strange food Mom and Dad have hauled you out to eat.  We asked her what's going on and she innocently shrugged and says she just preferred the gyoza.  My curiosity piqued I pinched a piece of her chicken and got to work chewing.  And chewing.  And chewing.  Dry, salty and absolutely the flattest teriyaki flavoring I have ever had the displeasure to taste.  You can buy more flavorful teriyaki sauce in a bottle on the bottom shelf of the grocery store.  "Go ahead and eat your rice, Natalia.  Let me know if it's crunchy."  She said it wasn't crunchy, but who knows if her she would have even noticed.  I didn't have the sense of adventure to try the rice myself and find out.  I'm not feeling cynical at all by this point of the meal at all.

Felicia surprisingly enough made it through the best.  Perhaps because she didn't notice the citrus in the tempura and this was the main portion of her entrée.  That in addition to the decent sushi quality she came out of the meal with no complaints.  As I finished my meal Felicia jokingly pointed out they serve tempura ice cream there.  I glared at her and we paid the check.  We left and went to Baskin and Robbins for our dessert.  Our Ice Cream was delicious.

Buying a Crib (and a Radiator)

Not totally satisfied with the ending here, it kind of just stops.  But that was kind of how the night went so...

Last night started like a fairly regular evening.  I was sitting at home and decided I needed to go run a few errands.  First I needed to pick up a new radiator for my Subaru, secondly go purchase the crib we've picked out for Ephram.

I start my evening at Schuck's.  I'd checked the website before I drove over to verify they had the radiator I need in stock and they did.  As I walk up to the cashier I rattle off the make and model of my car, he looks up the radiator and comes to the same conclusion I did, they have the one I need in stock.  He says "one moment" in a thick Spanish accent and rushes off to find it.  A few moments later he comes back looking slightly confused, verifies the part number he's written down and rushes off again.  He's stopped by a few customers along the way but generally spends the next 10 minutes running back and forth across the store.

Eventually, he comes back over and turns the screen towards me.  Shows me that the system says they have one in stock.  The last one they sold was in June of 2010 and they had been "promptly" restocked in September of that same year.  In that amount of time it seems the radiator had sprouted legs and walked off. He apologizes to me profusely then calls one of their neighboring stores.  They have it as well, he asks the guy to walk into the storage room and verify.  The individual on the other end seems to resist this in confusion but complies anyways.  After confirming the radiator really exists my savior dispatches their driver just for me, collects my phone number and promises me a call when it shows up.  Excellent, could have been worse, let's go and get the crib.  This is where I made my first mistake: I should have just gone home now.

We drive over to Target and walk to the infant section.  Felicia indicates the crib she's chosen, and I pick up the "Ready to Buy" tag.  After hunting down a sales associate (they all seem to disappear when you need them) I indicate the tag to him.  He says he cannot help me but radios someone else over to help.  After a few moments a woman with a little Asian girl with a Vietnamese(?) accent walks over to help us.  She scans my tag and says they don't have any in stock but the one just up the road has exactly one left.  She suggests we call ahead to verify it really exists, after my earlier experience at Schucks, I avidly agree.  Felicia begins dialing as I drive over to get us some fast food (looks like we're in for a longer evening than previously anticipated).

As we pull into the fast food restaurant of choice Felicia is still on the phone.  The conversation has been going something like this "I want to make sure you have the Walden Crib/Changer combo in stock." Pause.  "No, not the Winter crib, the Walden crib."  While on hold she looks at me and says, she cannot understand half the words this woman is saying.  I ask her to put it on speaker so maybe I can help.  I'm promptly greeted by the voice of a middle-aged Russian immigrant with a very thick accent.  She begins explaining to us that yes, they have the "Winter" crib in stock and it comes in White and Cinnamon.  Felicia then begins to explain again we want the "Walden" crib, she's placed on hold again.  I tell her to hang up, she's been at this for 20 minutes now and the Target is 5 minutes away at this point.  We'll find out when we get there.

We walk into Target and walk straight back to the baby section.  I begin to seek out a sales associate (de ja vu?).  I find a man in a red shirt.  His name tag says "Shane", neither of us realize we are about to become best friends.  I explain I'm "Ready to Buy" and wave my tag at him (the same one I had acquired at the previous store).  He says that he's actually working the service desk tonight and cannot help me but radios for someone who can.  No response.  He tries again, and again, dead air.  He looks at me and says with a wink "How many times do I need to ask for something before it gets done?"  I joke cynically about it requiring six more goes.  He gets in four more attempts before someone on the other end responds, a voice I recognize.  I roll my eyes but hope she doesn't recognize our voices and even more, that face to face we communicate more effective.

We walk over to the cribs to meet our new helper.  She immediately greets us with "Oh you on phone!" and starts mumbling some excuse for her incompetence.  We smile and shrug and walk over to the aisle with the miniature display cribs and point at the "Walden" crib/changer combo we're interested in.  She says "Oh I thought you wanted this one" and points at the "Winter" crib.  No.  We want this one.  She pulls out her radio and calls back to see if they have any in stock.

"Product code?" the man in the back room groans.

"03-08-5821" our lovely assistant replies.

"That's a display item number, I need the product number" he replies almost patiently.

"Oh, ok, um..." she pauses "03-08-5821" she rattles off.

"That's the same number you just gave me, I need the product code" he replies not so patiently.  This actually repeats 3 more times before I lean in helpfully and point at the number the sales associate at the previous store had used.  She tells me that's the same number.  I believe it's a different number and tell her so.  She looks at me angrily but reads the number anyways.

"05-09-5821" comes the new and unique set of digits through the walkie-talkie.

"There we go!" comes the voice on the other end, "we have one left back here, come and get it."

We then stand around for a few moments waiting for our crib to arrive.  This is where I made my second mistake.  I should have checked, I should have verified that our incompetent friends had done what we had so nicely begged them to do.  Instead, I pay for the crib, load it into our Escape and begin driving home.  Five minutes later my wife turns to me and says "Honey..."

"Yes?" I reply exhaustedly.

"That's not the one we wanted."

I stop the car and turn and really look at the box.  We've been handed the "Winter" crib set.  Brakes, turn signal, begin driving again, back to Target.  I spend the next few minutes screaming at my steering wheel about incompetence and the inability to grasp simple concepts like pointing and gesturing.  After a few deep breaths I am Zen.  I am peace incarnate.

Those that know me know that when I'm wronged by the customer service industry I'm the jerk who comes storming in screaming about intelligence and listening skills.  I had decided at some point in this evening that I was going to take a different approach.  I was going to see it from their perspective.  Usually in these situations the person you work with to clean up the mess didn't make the mess in the first place.  I usually feel that the associate I'm working with may not have wronged me but probably deserves my ire anyways.  They probably wronged someone else, and I am their kharmic reward.  Today, however; I'm taking a different approach; I'm going to be nice, and courteous.  I'm going to understand and be patient.  I'm going to smile, and display no anger.

My phone rings.  It's Schucks, and they have my radiator ready for pick up.  How late are you open?  I'm going to be a few minutes...

We arrive at Target; I park out front in the fire lane for easy access.  I walk calmly into the store breathing deep as I go.  I roll my shoulders and swagger up to the service desk.  My old friend Shane is here and I explain to him "I got five minutes down the road and my wife turns to me and says 'they gave us the wrong one'".  He laughs and then almost begins to cry.  He turns to me and says "I'm sorry, it's just been one of those nights you know?"  He radios back to the storage room to get someone to help me unload it from the back of my truck and replace it with the right crib.

The storage room czar himself shows up to take my order, I tell him which one I want and he promptly runs off to grab it.  A few minutes later Shane receives a call from the back room indicating that the one "Walden crib/changer" that was left was wedged up at the top of a shelf up against the roof behind a bunch of other product and was likely going to take at least ten minutes to retrieve.  Of course, why didn't I realize?  Why should it be easy to just swap it out?  This must explain the reluctance in the first place.  There must be a conspiracy of laziness at work here, they knew from the very beginning it was going to be difficult to get it out, and decided for me that I didn't want this crib.  This is not the crib you're looking for.

I smile at Shane and inform him that I'll wait.  This has been a tremendous exercise in patience for me.  If I ever wanted an excuse to scream at people for incompetence this would be it.  I take a deep breath and walk over to the water fountain.  I take a sip and walk out to the car where my wife is waiting.  I explain what's going on and walk back inside for more waiting...

After many minutes the back room man (I think his name was Paul?) comes out wheeling a much larger box down the aisle.  We check out (I had to bleed a bit more money) and load it into the Escape.  We wave and smile and get in the car ready to be gone from this place.  I drive to Schucks where they have my radiator waiting.  Paranoia strikes me; I insist they verify that the parts number is the same as the one I wanted.  It is.