Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Buying a Crib (and a Radiator)

Not totally satisfied with the ending here, it kind of just stops.  But that was kind of how the night went so...

Last night started like a fairly regular evening.  I was sitting at home and decided I needed to go run a few errands.  First I needed to pick up a new radiator for my Subaru, secondly go purchase the crib we've picked out for Ephram.

I start my evening at Schuck's.  I'd checked the website before I drove over to verify they had the radiator I need in stock and they did.  As I walk up to the cashier I rattle off the make and model of my car, he looks up the radiator and comes to the same conclusion I did, they have the one I need in stock.  He says "one moment" in a thick Spanish accent and rushes off to find it.  A few moments later he comes back looking slightly confused, verifies the part number he's written down and rushes off again.  He's stopped by a few customers along the way but generally spends the next 10 minutes running back and forth across the store.

Eventually, he comes back over and turns the screen towards me.  Shows me that the system says they have one in stock.  The last one they sold was in June of 2010 and they had been "promptly" restocked in September of that same year.  In that amount of time it seems the radiator had sprouted legs and walked off. He apologizes to me profusely then calls one of their neighboring stores.  They have it as well, he asks the guy to walk into the storage room and verify.  The individual on the other end seems to resist this in confusion but complies anyways.  After confirming the radiator really exists my savior dispatches their driver just for me, collects my phone number and promises me a call when it shows up.  Excellent, could have been worse, let's go and get the crib.  This is where I made my first mistake: I should have just gone home now.

We drive over to Target and walk to the infant section.  Felicia indicates the crib she's chosen, and I pick up the "Ready to Buy" tag.  After hunting down a sales associate (they all seem to disappear when you need them) I indicate the tag to him.  He says he cannot help me but radios someone else over to help.  After a few moments a woman with a little Asian girl with a Vietnamese(?) accent walks over to help us.  She scans my tag and says they don't have any in stock but the one just up the road has exactly one left.  She suggests we call ahead to verify it really exists, after my earlier experience at Schucks, I avidly agree.  Felicia begins dialing as I drive over to get us some fast food (looks like we're in for a longer evening than previously anticipated).

As we pull into the fast food restaurant of choice Felicia is still on the phone.  The conversation has been going something like this "I want to make sure you have the Walden Crib/Changer combo in stock." Pause.  "No, not the Winter crib, the Walden crib."  While on hold she looks at me and says, she cannot understand half the words this woman is saying.  I ask her to put it on speaker so maybe I can help.  I'm promptly greeted by the voice of a middle-aged Russian immigrant with a very thick accent.  She begins explaining to us that yes, they have the "Winter" crib in stock and it comes in White and Cinnamon.  Felicia then begins to explain again we want the "Walden" crib, she's placed on hold again.  I tell her to hang up, she's been at this for 20 minutes now and the Target is 5 minutes away at this point.  We'll find out when we get there.

We walk into Target and walk straight back to the baby section.  I begin to seek out a sales associate (de ja vu?).  I find a man in a red shirt.  His name tag says "Shane", neither of us realize we are about to become best friends.  I explain I'm "Ready to Buy" and wave my tag at him (the same one I had acquired at the previous store).  He says that he's actually working the service desk tonight and cannot help me but radios for someone who can.  No response.  He tries again, and again, dead air.  He looks at me and says with a wink "How many times do I need to ask for something before it gets done?"  I joke cynically about it requiring six more goes.  He gets in four more attempts before someone on the other end responds, a voice I recognize.  I roll my eyes but hope she doesn't recognize our voices and even more, that face to face we communicate more effective.

We walk over to the cribs to meet our new helper.  She immediately greets us with "Oh you on phone!" and starts mumbling some excuse for her incompetence.  We smile and shrug and walk over to the aisle with the miniature display cribs and point at the "Walden" crib/changer combo we're interested in.  She says "Oh I thought you wanted this one" and points at the "Winter" crib.  No.  We want this one.  She pulls out her radio and calls back to see if they have any in stock.

"Product code?" the man in the back room groans.
"03-08-5821" our lovely assistant replies.
"That's a display item number, I need the product number" he replies almost patiently.
"Oh, ok, um..." she pauses "03-08-5821" she rattles off.
"That's the same number you just gave me, I need the product code" he replies not so patiently.  This actually repeats 3 more times before I lean in helpfully and point at the number the sales associate at the previous store had used.  She tells me that's the same number.  I believe it's a different number and tell her so.  She looks at me angrily but reads the number anyways.
"05-09-5821" comes the new and unique set of digits through the walkie-talkie.
"There we go!" comes the voice on the other end, "we have one left back here, come and get it."

We then stand around for a few moments waiting for our crib to arrive.  This is where I made my second mistake.  I should have checked, I should have verified that our incompetent friends had done what we had so nicely begged them to do.  Instead, I pay for the crib, load it into our Escape and begin driving home.  Five minutes later my wife turns to me and says "Honey..."
"Yes?" I reply exhaustedly.
"That's not the one we wanted."

I stop the car and turn and really look at the box.  We've been handed the "Winter" crib set.  Brakes, turn signal, begin driving again, back to Target.  I spend the next few minutes screaming at my steering wheel about incompetence and the inability to grasp simple concepts like pointing and gesturing.  After a few deep breaths I am Zen.  I am peace incarnate.

Those that know me know that when I'm wronged by the customer service industry I'm the jerk who comes storming in screaming about intelligence and listening skills.  I had decided at some point in this evening that I was going to take a different approach.  I was going to see it from their perspective.  Usually in these situations the person you work with to clean up the mess didn't make the mess in the first place.  I usually feel that the associate I'm working with may not have wronged me but probably deserves my ire anyways.  They probably wronged someone else, and I am their kharmic reward.  Today, however; I'm taking a different approach; I'm going to be nice, and courteous.  I'm going to understand and be patient.  I'm going to smile, and display no anger.

My phone rings.  It's Schucks, and they have my radiator ready for pick up.  How late are you open?  I'm going to be a few minutes...

We arrive at Target; I park out front in the fire lane for easy access.  I walk calmly into the store breathing deep as I go.  I roll my shoulders and swagger up to the service desk.  My old friend Shane is here and I explain to him "I got five minutes down the road and my wife turns to me and says 'they gave us the wrong one'".  He laughs and then almost begins to cry.  He turns to me and says "I'm sorry, it's just been one of those nights you know?"  He radios back to the storage room to get someone to help me unload it from the back of my truck and replace it with the right crib.

The storage room czar himself shows up to take my order, I tell him which one I want and he promptly runs off to grab it.  A few minutes later Shane receives a call from the back room indicating that the one "Walden crib/changer" that was left was wedged up at the top of a shelf up against the roof behind a bunch of other product and was likely going to take at least ten minutes to retrieve.  Of course, why didn't I realize?  Why should it be easy to just swap it out?  This must explain the reluctance in the first place.  There must be a conspiracy of laziness at work here, they knew from the very beginning it was going to be difficult to get it out, and decided for me that I didn't want this crib.  This is not the crib you're looking for.

I smile at Shane and inform him that I'll wait.  This has been a tremendous exercise in patience for me.  If I ever wanted an excuse to scream at people for incompetence this would be it.  I take a deep breath and walk over to the water fountain.  I take a sip and walk out to the car where my wife is waiting.  I explain what's going on and walk back inside for more waiting...

After many minutes the back room man (I think his name was Paul?) comes out wheeling a much larger box down the aisle.  We check out (I had to bleed a bit more money) and load it into the Escape.  We wave and smile and get in the car ready to be gone from this place.  I drive to Schucks where they have my radiator waiting.  Paranoia strikes me; I insist they verify that the parts number is the same as the one I wanted.  It is.

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